It’s been a FUNtastic birthday week at the wise old age of 42. Weirdly, I’ve being saying I’m 42 for the last 8 months. There’s just something about this age I have been ‘ready’ for.
Over the last 8 months, I’ve also been asking a question that is having a profound impact on my partner and I when we ask it.
With all my fascination and reading on self growth and self development, I’ll be honest, sometimes it doesn’t stick. But the significant bits like this little question, has stuck with me like one of those photo fridge magnets you can’t stop looking at years later.
‘Hold old are you right now’?
This question is great to ask when you’ve been triggered or grumpy and want to move through the feels, without a tropical Queensland storm, inside or out. It’s a fabulous question to connect with the part of you that is triggered in that moment. And let me tell you, it’s rarely 42 year old Laura…
Just like we have that 16 year old part of us that can let loose on a wedding dance floor with our uni crew from years ago. Or the 7 year old us, that can get down on our hands and knees and let our inner child flag fly when there are kids around. Or what about when you have a new puppy or baby and the mum or dad instincts kick in well and truly- feeling older and wiser than your years. Our younger and older parts of us can also come forward when we are experiencing tension or triggers.
Asking yourself the question ‘how old am I right now’ helps us to understand what age we feel in that moment AND what that part of us needs to bring ourselves back to our ‘now’ age/wisdom?
It sounds quite strange when I try to explain it, but let me tell you when you practice it, it becomes a new level of self awareness that feels caring, compassionate and way more supportive to self and others. We get to witness these parts of us instead of shame them or play them out unconsciously. Then moving on becomes a lot more accessible.
So here’s the process if you want a little tool in your back pocket next time trigger territory rises within;
- When triggered next, ask yourself… how old do I feel right now?
- Then gently ask that part of yourself what it needs? Maybe it’s a walk, talk, time out, bit of journaling, a hug, goge frozen yoghurt?
- Then give it to yourself. Let that part be seen and process it.
- Return to current age and forge forward with greater self awareness and regulation.
I can’t wait to hear if this resonates for you? And if you like this work, its origins comes from Internal Family Systems therapy. I have a big crush on this therapeutic modality.
P.s. Never lose those 16 year old dance moves, they really are Ageless!
With LL 💛
SimBLISSity 